By SUSAN DROMEY HEETER, Joyful Reflections
Last week InDepthNH.org caught up with Bennie the Dog, today we bring you Part II of this interview.
InDepthNH: Thanks for meeting with us again, Bennie. We know you have a busy schedule, so your time is very valuable.
Bennie: I’m a busy guy, so much to do and sniff. But it’s an honor to be here. I have a deep respect for journalists, for those who unpack the facts and present them to the public. I’m thrilled and excited for the world to see me for who I really am, so much more than just a dog, I truly am a canine prodigy.
InDepthNH: Well, today Bennie, we understand that you received a search warrant, according to our sources, you hid evidence belonging to Susan Dromey Heeter, the author of Joyful Musings.
Bennie: Wait, what? I thought this interview was about my infallibility, my doctoral thesis, my incessant curiosity.
InDepthNH: Initially it was but learned there were concerns about Oofas Sandals, olive green Oofas owned by Susan Dromey Heeter. According to our sources, you took them, hid them under the sofa and denied having them: hence the search warrant. There are speculations that these sandals were ruined by you.
Bennie: It’s a BITCH HUNT! These sandals are the same consistency as my dog toys, how did I know they weren’t for my incisors? I deeply enjoy a good chew and these sandals smelled especially good, human feet have a particularly inviting aroma. So maybe I have them but I’m going to plead the Fifth.
InDepthNH: Have you chewed them?
Bennie: I plead the Fifth.
InDepthNH: Are you a fan of shoes? Have you ever chewed them before?
Bennie: Yes, I love shoes, I particularly like flip flops, sandals. The chewy texture, the lightness, they make such a great snack. I pair them with a bowl of lukewarm water – ideally that has been left to breathe for 24 hours. I can’t find anything more delicious than a good chew, in fact, I’m quite a connoisseur of sandals. After finishing my PhD, I really hope to write a cookbook – the working title is Snack on Sandals with Chef Bennie. I have a special affinity for OluKais, there will be a section devoted entirely to Hawaiian footwear. Their taste is exquisite.
InDepthNH: It looks like you intentionally hid those Oofas, is that true?
Bennie: I’ve said too much. I’ll defer to my lawyers. I plead the Fifth.
InDepthNH: Thank you, Bennie, for your time. As of press time, it has been revealed that you indeed have the Oofas and the photo indicates the damage.
Bennie: I plead the Fifth.
InDepthNH: At Joyful Musings and InDepthNH.org, we thank you for your time.
Bennie: It’s always a pleasure. Thanks.
Susan Dromey Heeter is a writer from Dover who recently let her hair go natural white. Writing has been his passion since his years majoring in English at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. Dromey Heeter has lived in the Netherlands, Alaska, and currently dabbles in all things New England, including freezing winters. An avid swimmer, Dromey Heeter’s great passion is bringing back body surfing because most kids have no idea how to ride the waves without ridiculous boogie boards.